Sending Letters & Emails | Alternatives for Settling a Divorce Outside the Courtroom - Part 1

Feb 18, 2019

In the next five videos I am going to give you some information on alternatives for settling your case outside of the courtroom.

Without a doubt it's better for you to take your own life into your own hands and resolve the case if possible with your ex-partner outside the courtroom.   If you don't settle your case then what's going to happen is you're going to end up in front of a stranger a judge who's going to make decisions about your life and maybe the life of your children, your future financial life after having heard about the history of your case over just a few hours.

In extreme cases maybe you'll get a day or two or maybe three but that's still not a lot of time. The judge is still a stranger and it's still scary in my mind to have a stranger making those decisions.   I want to help empower you to take your life into your own hands and look at these strategies.   So the first strategy I want to talk to you about is just writing letters.  It’s something as simple as having correspondence with your ex over how the case is going to be resolved.   

 In an ideal world it would be great to be able to have a conversation with your ex about how things are going to be resolved but that's not always possible.  As a lawyer there are situations where I feel like I need to correspond with the other attorney. Maybe I want to make sure that I'm being clear about the offer that's being transmitted to the other attorney.  I want to make sure that nothing's assumed and that all the details are covered.  The best way to do that is by sending an email or a letter to the other attorney.   

 In other cases maybe emotions are really high or there are situations where I just don't get along with an attorney.   You may find yourself in that situation with your ex where.   Every time you talk you end up getting into it.  Those are situations when it's probably best to just send a letter or an email to that saying this is how I propose that we resolve things.  So the first method in this first video is just simply getting clear about what you want, outlining all of the areas that you think you need to be resolved or that need to be resolved in your case. Making an outline and then setting out a proposal about how you want things to be settled. It’s that simple and if your ex sends an email back to you and says I accept then really that's a binding contract under the law and you can take that and run with it.  

Do some other steps that you need to take if you get a settlement in this way.  Chances are that if you settle your judge is going to want to see an agreement put into writing in a formal way,  in a form that the judge is going to accept.  That’s required by the rules of wherever you're living.  You can take the letter you send in your exes acceptance and put it in the format that's required.  Now say you sent a letter and your ex sends a letter back saying well I agreed to points A, B and C but not to D and this is what I'm proposing.   In that case you don't necessarily have an agreement but you may be close so in that situation I would recommend writing a letter back saying what your counterproposal is or if you agree saying yes I accept the modification that you're proposing to the letter.

I’ve settled a lot of cases just going back and forth with letters with opposing counsel or another party.  It seems really simple and it might seem like it's old-fashioned but you can get things done just by way of writing a letter.

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