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Is It YOUR Responsibility to Keep the Uninvolved Parent Informed??

What if you are co-parenting with a parent who essentially is not involved in their children's lives at all.

They don't go to parent-teacher conferences, don't help your children with homework, don't go to school events, don't take the kid or kids to practices and they don't show up to games. They're not involved in the medical decisions.

Do you think that it's your responsibility to keep the other parents informed especially if you share joint decision-making or joint custody? Or do you think it's the other parent's role or responsibility to get themselves informed?

3 Tips for Communicating with Your Ex BEFORE Custody Court

Communication really matters in custody court but I think what really impacts what happens in the courtroom is the communication that happens before you get to the courtroom.

Here are 3 essential tips for communicating with your ex BEFORE you hit the courtroom.

1. Always respond to the other side

2. Always save your responses

3. Always assume you are being recorded

The Two Essential Parts to Your Child Custody Case

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There are two essential parts to your child custody case.   I think that a lot of times people forgot forget that in your child custody case not only do you have to understand what the judge is looking for in terms of the best interests of the children, not only do you have to gather evidence that speaks to those best interest factors, but you also have to know what you're doing in the courtroom.

There are two parts to understanding what you're doing in the courtroom:

1. You have to understand what the laws are around child custody in your jurisdiction.

2. You have to understand the courtroom procedures.

If you end up in court both of these parts go hand in hand and one doesn't necessarily work without the other.   If you go to trial and you don't have an understanding of what that process is going to look like it could be the death of you and your custody case.  That's part of the reason that I  started Command the Courtroom in the...

Is it Possible to Recover While Co-Parenting With a Narcissist?

This is a replay of my amazing interview with Yitz Epstein from the Narcissism Recovery Podcast. Chances are that if you've removed yourself from the toxic relationship with your narcissistic ex, you are in recovery. Is it possible to fully recover from that relationship when you're forced to continue to "co-parent" with your abusive ex? What are the tools you need to keep your boundaries sacred, keep yourself "safe" and heal your heart?

What you will learn about Narcissism:

  • Is it possible to recover from narcissistic abuse and if so how does someone even start that process?
  • Can a narcissist be healed?
  • How can somebody continue on this path of healing when they are closely involved with the abuser because they share children in common?
  • If somebody hasn't gone within and tried to heal their wounds, will they be attracted to one narcissist or abusive relationship after another?
  • If someone has suffered years of abuse from a narcissist, where do they even start?
  • What is the first step...

How to Advocate and Negotiate in Your Custody Case

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What's On Your Child Custody Wish List?

When you go to buy a car you have certain things on your wish list.  I know when I go to buy a car it's like I want the car fully loaded.  I want every option that is going to make my life the way I want it to be included in that car.   But then I go into the car dealership and realize that there are certain costs associated with each of the options that I want.  So then I have to evaluate what it is that I really want and what's most important to me and what I can afford.

And this is the way that you kind of have to evaluate your child custody case.  There are rare situations where one of the parties might be in a situation where they're holding all the cards and have all of the bargaining power.  The other party is at a complete disadvantage.  In my experience as a family law attorney, these are rare situations.   I feel that each of the parties has things that are great for...

The Top 3 Must-Dos For Your Custody Case

My daughter like a lot of kids is doing online school right now and it is an adjustment for everybody.   It's an adjustment for her and it's an adjustment for us the parents.   The way that her school is doing virtual learning is via Google Classroom which is great, however, we didn't realize there is a tab in google classroom that tells our daughter all of her to-do's.

I just happened to be looking at the google classroom and randomly clicked on the to-do's and found that there were seven or eight assignments that had been assigned that she hadn't done. Apparently,  she hadn't realized that she hadn't done them so we spent the next two and a half hours doing assignments from throughout the week.

 So my husband and I have just been talking to her about the importance of having a methodical way of knowing your deadlines and knowing what you have to do.   This starts hopefully at nine years old because by the time you get to the point...

Custody Battle with a Narcissist: How to Fight and Protect Your Child

When the other parent in your custody case has a narcissistic personality disorder, it can result in a toxic battle. Alex Falconi aka the Proper Person went through a custody battle with his ex-wife who he says has a narcissistic personality disorder.  Below is what he had to say about dealing with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder in a custody battle. 

Somebody with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will either attach themselves to a conflict or they'll avoid conflict.  Most of the time narcissists avoid conflicts.  Most of the time it's preferable to a narcissist to just cut someone off instead of engaging in an argument and conflict.  But once they choose that they're going to fight it ends up becoming what is called a “narcissistic space” for them.   Then they start to garner narcissistic supply for it and from it and then it becomes an addiction.

Why You Must "Annihilate" the Narcissist

Underneath the hood,...

Sharing Custody During Coronavirus Pandemic: When One Parent is Sick

As a family law attorney, I am getting more and more questions from parents who share custody and are struggling during this coronavirus pandemic. One of the dilemmas parents are facing is whether to send the child to a parent who is sick when they are sharing parenting time duties. 

If you're in this situation whether you're the sick parent or the healthy parent  I want you to go to the thing that I always tell you to go to and that is what is in the best interest of the children.   That is always the guiding principle when making decisions about your kids.   I'm confident that any judge in the nation and in the world at this point is going to tell you the same thing.

It Should Always Be In The Best Interest of The Child

What is unique about this coronavirus is that the symptoms are very similar to the symptoms that people experience when they're having seasonal allergies, like runny nose, scratchy throat, and sneezing. ...

What You Should Be Doing 6 Weeks Before Your Custody Trial - Part 2

Common Deadlines Prior to Custody Trial

In part one I went over that six weeks before your custody trial you are checking your calendar, checking the judge's minute entries, checking the rules and checking your deadlines. You are making sure you have everything calendared and everything is disclosed.  And you are looking ahead at the deadlines that are coming up prior to trial. Two common deadlines are giving your exhibits to the clerk for marking and the pre-trial statement. 

Giving Your Exhibits to the Clerk for Marking

In Arizona, you must provide your exhibits prior to trial. However, I can only speak for Arizona.  In some states, the rules might be that the judge marks the exhibits on the day of the trial. This is why it is important for you to check your local rules. 

The Pre-Trial Statement

In Arizona, a pre-trial statement is required. The pre-trial statement is where you give the judge a preview of the things that you agree on and a...

What You Should be Doing 6 Weeks Before Your Custody Trial - Part 1

Generally speaking, this is what I am doing 6 weeks prior to a custody trial.  It's important to remember that deadlines differ from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. In part one, I'm going to talk about checking your local rules, reading the judge’s minute entries, calendaring deadlines, and the difference between disclosing exhibits and exchanging exhibits. 

Check Your Local, State or Country Custody Rules 

It is so important that you look at your local rules for important requirements and deadlines.  These will vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.  For example, in Arizona, a pre-trial statement is required by the courts but in other states, it is not a requirement. We will actually delve into pre-trial statements in Part two.  

Read Your Judge's Minute Entries

These are the minute entries for the judge setting trial. It's important for you to look at that minute entry where the judge sets trial and to calendar it. In...

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