In this week’s video I want to talk to you about taking baby steps as you proceed through your child custody case. Often times, and it is usually fathers, tell me that they are not getting enough time with their children. They want equal time with their children and to have as much time with their children as the mother has. In many cases the father may not be getting any time at all or sometimes just minimal time.
It’s almost always my philosophy to try to work things out outside the court. In cases where the other party is adamant that they will not agree to equal parenting time, I often talk to my client, usually the father usually about considering taking less time as the case is proceeding to get to where he wants to be eventually. Because in my mind some time is better than no time
I've been in the position where I get to trial and both parties have dug their heels in and for example my client the father has not wanted to accept any time. He just wanted to maintain his position and say she's done denying me time. But we get to trial and mothers saying the father hasn't had any time with the children so I want a graduated parenting schedule.
This graduation would last over several months before they get to equal parenting time. That doesn't serve my client especially if my client is fit and it also doesn't serve the children.
What my hope is in advising my client to accept less while the case is proceeding to get that graduated parenting time started, so by the time you get to the end of the case and if you end up in trial, you can tell the judge we've already had this period where father and the children are getting more used to each other. They’re increasing their bond or seen each other more often there's no need for additional graduated parenting time. At the time of trial if you’ve had some time with the child as opposed to no time you're in a better position to tell the judge let's get right to where we want to go.
Especially if you're a father or a mother who's fighting for equal time, if you're not getting what you wanted the case is proceeding it doesn't mean that you can't end up where you want to be at the end of the case.
Oftentimes, one parent's behavior interferes with the other parent's relationship with the kids. Some people go so far as to call this behavior "parental alienation."
If you think you might be a victim of parental alienation, get access to this FREE audio interview with a child therapist BEFORE you raise the "A" word to the other parent or to your judge. Understand how therapeutic intervention might improve your relationship with your children if alienation has, in fact, happened.